wise words

"And if nothing else, all you need to do is breathe."

Annie says this at the beginning of most of her classes. Just recently, I really heard these words and applied them to my recovery. I have a lot of difficulty in the evening. I can use these words and realize that if I want to get through it, I really only have to focus on breathing. If a task arises, do the task, and go back to breathing.

Today SUCKED. I did it to myself. I didnt do anything besides stay to myself. I did all of my laundry and aside from that, not much. I tried to read a bit and fell asleep knowing I was doing it to escape.I didnt go to yoga. The class I attend if I go on Tuesdays is Tory's class and it is 5pm. Trying to find a spot is impossible. Shuttles take people to and from overflow parking and with the weather being 0 degrees, I couldnt get myself there. I have to remind myself that I do not need to workout everyday. It is hard to be okay with it. Im not okay with it. I just have to trust that I am making the right decision.

I talked to A tonight and he really helped me feel better. I didnt seek him out. He kept asking if I was okay and what was wrong. I wasnt letting on to anything. It just must have been my lack of sense of humor (because when we talk its pretty much always BS and humor) and my short answers or comments. I finally let him in and he helped a lot. Im not sure what is going on with us but I like it. It seems like after all the crap we went though, we came out really good friends. Allowing him in helped me cheer up along with these gentlemen...

and

This guitar solo..I cannot explain what it does to me. It is gorgeous.

comfortably numb guitar