Rough day. I just couldnt find the motivation to be motivated today. I didnt do shit until I got to work at 12pm when I got word that F got in an accident so couldnt make the overnight shift. Knowing my boss would have to take it, I volunteered. Ive been here since noon and I wont leave until 8am, the time my therapy appt is scheduled for. Then back at 2pm. I want to get to noon yoga with Annie as well.
Anxiety attack at work over my size/weight/the number. Now I have to hear that number again tomorrow morning.
Unfortunately, after having a panic attack, crying randomly thinking "If I lose weight. I just need to lose weight, Ill be okay," I purged and things were better. It is a drug. And it works in the moment.
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Ack. You're too aware and intuitive for your own good. Also known as intelligent :)
ReplyDeleteI've heard ignorance is bliss. I bet it is.
But it's better to be aware and have feelings and insights than to be stupid and out of touch. It just hurts more.
I'm sorry you are hurting. Try with all your might to use all that awareness and insight to heal. xxxx