Yoga today was great. A announced that she is going on vacay for 2 weeks She did say, "I hate telling you guys these things bc I dont want you to get attachment issues..." She is so right. Everyone LOVES her.

The gym was hard today. Maybe I should just say the morning was hard. I fell back asleep after getting a call from work at 6am. I missed my L appt. Not cool. I needed to be there, especially with the weight thing. Since I didnt get to the appt I weighed myself instead. Stupid. DUMB. Anyway, that morning followed me and I was a crabby mofo. I said nasty things to everyone (in my head) who passed by me. People would walk past me and I'd think, "Nice hair asshole." Awesome. way to project insecurity

Work was good I suppose. Texted w/B (from 'bou) a bit and then Andy texted to let me know we have unfinished business and we arent done with our relationship. News to me. I told PJ and all she replied with was, "If I dream about him I'ma kill myself." Love her.

Tomorrow Im meeting B to hang out before I have yoga. He is working out at 9 and I have yoga at noon so we are going to meet at the gym around 11 and hang out in the cafe. Then work. Whoopdefuckingdo.

recap of the past few days

My life is a joke at times. I havent updated in a bit so here are a few main points.


*I had an amazing food day Monday. No sx use. I saw "The Dilemma." It was okay.
*I feel as though I am gaining, again. I swear to God...
*B & J teamed up against B at work (autistic) and have attempted to get him to do sexual things. Poor B does not understand that this isnt safe. He doesnt know better.
*The guy I like from 'bou apparently moved here for rehab. And would like a friends w/benefits situation. I always attract the winners. Im growing up though and respecting myself; I told him that would not be happening.
*A and I decided to hook up on Vday. Whatever. He was amazing and I still miss "him."

Seriously..omg...gaining. I swear to God I will go fucking crazy. I didnt workout Tuesday and actually for the whole month of Feb thus far I have been slacking. Time to kick it up a notch. Im going to go after work and then tomorrow after my L appt I will do some cardio and yoga at noon. I have Saturday off of work because my little sister has her dance performance. I am so excited. She also choreographed this year so it should be really fun to watch her.

Met up with Samantha yesterday. I love my Halfie. She is so amazing. I cannot wait until we can walk to the coffee shop together. We live less than a block away from each other. Im so excited for this summer with her. She is amazing.

My roommate N honestly says one word to me when I see her. Im fucking sick of her. She is a stuck up little cunt. Yes, yes she is. Excuse my language. I am going to talk to L tomorrow about it and see what she thinks. I know she will tell me to talk to her about it but honestly, I dont even want to go that far. If the stupid bitch wont talk to me, why the hell should I go as far as sitting down with her to talk? I hope she gets deported.

boring...

I went to Blick's today and got a new sketchpad. They do not have the oil pastels I like so I didnt get any. Ill have to go to Office Max I think.


I want spring. It is 32 and sunny here today. I drove w/my windows down.

Therapy was great today. We went over the past few days. It is rough man. Laura has all of my behaviors and thoughts written down right in front of her. She is seeing what I am eating, where I am, my thoughts and whether or not I am using any symptoms during the day. She looks at my weight every session..it is well, exposing. Laura and i have had a lot of issues over the years working together. At first, I was a stubborn teenager. She brought to light all the problems I had. I did not have a drinking problem. My life was fine I thought. It was hard (and still is at times) because she is so brutally honest. She will not accept any bullshit answer. She is BRILLIANT at what she is doing. She is highly respected at is feared by many patients. Now, it is funny to me that I was one of those her feared her and hated therapy. We laugh, she has a soft spot for me now. She is very invested in me and my recovery and it is quite a good feeling.

February Exercise

Feb 1
30min cardio
20min yoga/stretching

Feb 2
30min cardio
10min core

Feb 3
1hr yoga

Feb 6
30min cardio

Feb 7
20min cardio
1hr yoga

Feb 9
30min cardio
10min core/stretch

Feb 10
1hr yoga

Feb 11
10min cardio
1hr yoga

Feb 13
20min yoga

Feb 14
1hr yoga

Feb 16
1hr yoga
Total:
9hr, 30min