Things are going well today. Breakfast and snack were good today. For snack I had granola and PEACH yogurt, my fav. I met with Laura today. Ive seen her on and off since 2004. Ive been thinking a lot about what to do when I leave here. Im a little upset with The Emily Program. I dont think I would have ever gotten to this bad of a place if I was at Melrose. I would have had more medical monitoring and I dont think my symptoms would have gotten so out of control. There would have been an intervention sooner. Dont get me wrong, I know this is my issue, I need to take responsibility for myself but at some point I think we all need help. I needed someone to tell me I didnt have to live this way, that they wanted to help me. I need help at times to see things more clearly. I still want to work with Tamar, that is one person I dont want to leave. Im scared to leave there but I think I just need something a little more strict. At The Emily Program, *my* team has allowed me to get really sick. I have always had to take the initiative and I know thats good, but at some point I think someone needs to aid in my decision and suggest I get further help. Also, I asked for it a few times and got told that DBT was the answer. Of course its helpful but not when my nutrition is so poor that I cant f*cking think.
Anyway....
Things are progressing. Not all things. I got here Thursday and I still havent *ahem* gone to the bathroom. Surprisingly I havent had any pain from it. Blood pressure and heart rate a little low still so I cannot do any strength classes.
Thats all for now I suppose. I got nothing.
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